Behind closed eyes is where I find you. A mirage of sorts; but still, I sigh in relief at your smile. Dressed down, sandy toes, with the sweet smell of the day on your neck. Flip flops cast aside as the ice rattles in your drink and I watch the sun bounce off the shine in your hair. Your voice in my ear, far away yet near … while crashing waves take me — little by little — away from the safety of shore.
Behind closed eyes I see tan lines and laugh lines and pick up lines. Shining, brilliant, bright, and bold eyes– offering seemingly white lies surrounded by silver linings that are tarnished on the outside.
Behind closed eyes it’s easier to forget. To get swept up, up, and away and be forever lost in in the moment. Somehow away from all the noise and clutter of the day-to-day. Where just for a moment it is simple and it all makes sense. And all feels so right. Or maybe it feels right just in the moment.
Behind closed eyes it’s easier to hide. To hide from the outside, with a breath of relief. And when a special soul slides in between the cracks and chooses to hide with you… well. For a moment you are Number One in someone’s book. Drifting off, soft snores, satin pillow cases, and the cool afternoon air sailing in the window.
Behind closed eyes the dream becomes real. The moments feel longer than the synapse of a second that they really are. Then daylight creeps into my window and slides slowly up my wall. The world I want to get lost into recedes back into me. And I mumble and grumble because I want to stay behind closed eyes– where I feel everything… or nothing at all.
“The floor seemed wonderfully solid.
It was comforting to know I had fallen
and could fall no farther.”
–Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar